The first Gay Fathers meeting is a big step. Who will be there? What is this about? If this describes you, then relax, you are like the vast majority of men at their first Gay Fathers meeting. Do let someone know if this is your first meeting. Then sit back and join in the discussion when ready. If asked, answering with "I prefer to listen, tonight" will be respected.
We discuss many topics related to our experiences -- past and present -- about being attracted to men and being a father, and we encourage every man to participate. However, Gay Fathers of Toronto will not advise. We encourage every man to find the path best suited for him and his situation.
Because you share children, the mother will remain part of the equation when making choices. The children are an unbreakable link between the two of you, whether preferred or not. You may have a close friendship, a successful working marriage, a co-parenting partnership, or be involved with an uneasy rocky separation/divorce dynamic. Regardless, it is a relationship that cannot be dropped, so finding ways to make it work supports not only a better family dynamic but also allows you to keep energy from going to the negative aspects, and can be used for better priorities.
Tonight is about looking at where our relationship is at with the children’s mother, and look forward at how we want it to be. Being at different points on the journey, it might provide relief to know we are not alone, as others can share similar anecdotes. As a support group, we can discuss different perspectives, and see what others do to make things work for them, or ask questions when it isn’t. Whether it’s decisions regarding young children and schooling, or grandchildren coming into the picture, their mom will continue to be a part of their lives and yours. We need to make the best of the situation we are in, let’s discuss how energy can be put into creating a positive future.
*When two or more facilitators are usually present, the Second Facilitator will be happy to talk privately if you prefer.*
The 519 Church St Community Centre, Room 304 Map to 519 ►[Opens new window]◄
Gay Fathers of Toronto is independent and is not financially supported or sponsored by any organization or group. Self-supported since it first met in 1978, every man is asked to contribute $5 at each meeting to defray the costs of meeting space, the website, etc. however at your first meeting, you are our guest. If $5 is a financial burden and is the reason for not coming, please contact or email (firstname.lastname@example.org)privately. We are here to support, not to inhibit or to embarrass.
Meeting leaders are gay fathers and volunteers. Please note, they are trained to facilitate discussions; they are not life coaches, marriage counsellors, psychologists, or lawyers. They cannot give advice. Gay Fathers encourages all men to seek out professional assistance where it may be needed.
Mutual respect is expected. Predatory or intimidating behaviour will not be tolerated. Gay Fathers of Toronto has a Code of Mutual Respect. Ask a Facilitator to browse a copy of it if you want more information. Talk to a Facilitator or email us confidentially (email@example.com) about anything that offends or concerns you.