The first Gay Fathers meeting is a big step. Who will be there? What is this about? If this describes you, then relax, you are like the vast majority of men at their first Gay Fathers meeting. Do let someone know if this is your first meeting. Then sit back and join in the discussion when ready. If asked, answering with "I prefer to listen, tonight" will be respected.
We discuss many topics related to our experiences -- past and present -- about being attracted to men and being a father, and we encourage every man to participate. However, Gay Fathers of Toronto will not advise. We encourage every man to find the path best suited for him and his situation.
"I feel like a 16 year old trapped in a middle-aged body. I am thinking like a teenager, but the body reflected in my mirror doesn't match my feelings. What's going on?"
Welcome to neo-adolescence.
Like everyone else, as teenagers we experimented with relationships, tried to understand our emotions, and hoped to satisfy physical desires. We dated and we mimicked the infatuations, falling in love, and breaking up as our friends did. Sometimes, our experiences were pretty convincing - even to ourselves - yet lurking just below consciousness was a sense that our experiences were not like our friends'. Something was missing.
Indeed, something WAS missing, and having taken steps to acknowledge those suppressed desires, we now "know" that our adolescent development was thwarted. It remains unfinished, and we are free - indeed eager - to explore, to discover, to develop. Whether you are 40, 50, or over 60, you are likely feeling like a teenager again, ready to discover the new thrills of attractive bodies, the companionship of gay men, and the shared loves and joys of men with similar feelings.
Discovering previously denied sexuality is exciting. Creating new personal styles and using language freely to express ourselves liberate us from the chains of past beliefs. Give yourself freedom to be infatuated and disappointed, to be dismayed when your mirror unkindly tells you that your new bikini doesn't quite create the image you had imagined when you bought it. Laugh at the mistakes, enjoy those special private moments, and take enjoy completing the unfinished business of neo-adolescence.
And remember you also have wisdom and experience that twinks have not yet imagined.
Discussion Facilitator: Jim McK *Second Facilitator: Chris G
*When two or more facilitators are usually present, the Second Facilitator will be happy to talk privately if you prefer.*
The 519 Church St Community Centre, Room 304 Map to 519 ►[Opens new window]◄
Gay Fathers of Toronto is independent and is not financially supported or sponsored by any organization or group. Self-supported since it first met in 1978, every man is asked to contribute $5 at each meeting to defray the costs of meeting space, the website, etc. however at your first meeting, you are our guest. If $5 is a financial burden and is the reason for not coming, please contact or email (firstname.lastname@example.org)privately. We are here to support, not to inhibit or to embarrass.
Meeting leaders are gay fathers and volunteers. Please note, they are trained to facilitate discussions; they are not life coaches, marriage counsellors, psychologists, or lawyers. They cannot give advice. Gay Fathers encourages all men to seek out professional assistance where it may be needed.
Mutual respect is expected. Predatory or intimidating behaviour will not be tolerated. Gay Fathers of Toronto has a Code of Mutual Respect. Ask a Facilitator to browse a copy of it if you want more information. Talk to a Facilitator or email us confidentially (email@example.com) about anything that offends or concerns you.