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When Do I Get to Be Gay?
Thursday 26 November 2015, 08:00pm - 09:45pm

Support Group Meeting for Gay Fathers

Feel alone? Isolated? Uncertain about the word gay? Newcomers often feel alone, like an outsider, or not certain if the Gay Fathers is the right place for them. Maybe this is your first contact with the 'gay community'. We've all been there. No one needs to remain alone.

That first meeting is a big step. The future may seem uncertain, stressful, scary, even spinning out of control. Yet, that first step may also hold the hope of a revitalized future, of personal growth, of hoped-for love, and of a new-found self-confidence. It may also mean family adjustments.

We won't advise. We will share our experiences, listen to yours, and support you in the path that suits you and your situation. We demand only a mutual respect for the differences and similarities of every man's situation and experience, his personal boundaries and privacy

Tonight's Topic: While Busy Being Father, When Do I Get to Be Gay?

You love and nurture your kids. You ensure that they are fed, clothed, and protected. You're involved with their health, education, and their extended families. It is a demanding job that takes most of your time. 

You are also a healthy gay male. You feel free and are eager - perhaps for the first time in your life - to explore what it means to live as a gay man. Online dating and bath houses, gay travel destinations, boyfriends and one night stands, gay bars and dance clubs, time at the gym, Halloween and Pride, gay sports leagues and social clubs - so many men and so little.... Damn, it's my week with the kids! 

You know and take your parental responsibilities seriously, but you have a responsibility to care for yourself, too. A few men, especially those with full custody of their children postponed their own desires and needs until the children are older. Is it possible to be a responsible parent AND celebrate your gay side? Is it necessary to keep them entirely separate? When is it appropriate to introduce a boyfriend to your kids? 

Discussion Facilitator: John StJ   *Second Facilitator: Danny M

*When two or more facilitators are usually present, the Second Facilitator will be happy to talk privately if you prefer.*

Getting there:

The 519 Church St Community Centre, Room 304

Directions to 519 ►[Opens new window]◄


Gay Fathers of Toronto is operated by and for gay dads. All fathers, step-fathers, their same-sex partners, and all gay/bi men in a fathering role are welcome at a GFT meeting. It is an independent, peer support group that is run and governed by gay fathers. It has no political, corporate, or religious affiliation and receives no outside financial assistance. We ask each person to contribute $5 per meeting to cover website and other incidental expenses.

At your first meeting, though, you are our guest. If $5 is a financial burden or is the reason for staying away, please contact a Facilitator in person or email a private message to the lead Facilitator ( are here to support, not to inhibit or embarrass.

What happens at support meetings?

Meeting leaders are trained to facilitate discussions at support meetings; they are not professional life coaches, marriage counsellors, or psychologists.We talk about our own experience. We do not advise or challenge.

Predatory or intimidating behaviour will not be tolerated. Gay Fathers of Toronto has a Code of Mutual Respect. Ask a Facilitator to browse a copy of it if you want more information about it. Talk to a Facilitator or email us confidentially ( about anything that offends or concerns you. 


Location The 519 Church Street Community Centre, Room 304
Check The 519 Front Desk Notice Board on the scheduled evening for last minute room changes.

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