Feel alone? Isolated? Uncertain about the word gay? Newcomers often feel alone, like an outsider, or not certain if the Gay Fathers is the right place for them. Maybe this is your first contact with the 'gay community'. We've all been there. No one needs to remain alone.
That first meeting is a big step. The future may seem uncertain, stressful, scary, even spinning out of control. Yet, that first step may also hold the hope of a revitalized future, of personal growth, of hoped-for love, and of a new-found self-confidence. It may also mean family adjustments.
We won't advise. We will share our experiences, listen to yours, and support you in the path that suits you and your situation. We demand only a mutual respect for the differences and similarities of every man's situation and experience, his personal boundaries and privacy
For myriad reasons - some honourable and some not - gay men marry women. Some - an unknown number - remain married, seemingly happy, for many, many years. For others their irresistible attraction to men leads to secret liaisons or unadmitted 'arrangements'. Today with the near universal access to information about sexuality and its diversities, arrangements and secret lives are seldom seen as acceptable or satisfying to either partner, and divorce is no longer a social stigma.
Despite the social changes, virtually every gay husband dreads the reaction and aftermath when his wife learns that he is gay or bisexual. Her reactions depend on her personality, but typically include anger, hurt, feeling betrayed, disbelief, vengeance, surprise, support, and denial or any combination in any order. If this is already in your past, what reaction did you want from your wife and what did you get? The disclosure is never easy. Why? If your wife does not yet know, how will you go about telling her? What are some ways to make it less difficult? What strategies, on the other hand, will likely inflame an already tense situation?
There are many websites, blogs, and books covering this. Here are two links that may be of interest:
*When two or more facilitators are usually present, the Second Facilitator will be happy to talk privately if you prefer.*
The 519 Church St Community Centre, Room 304
Directions to 519 ►[Opens new window]◄
Gay Fathers of Toronto is operated by and for gay dads. All fathers, step-fathers, their same-sex partners, and all gay/bi men in a fathering role are welcome at a GFT meeting. It is an independent, peer support group that is run and governed by gay fathers. It has no political, corporate, or religious affiliation and receives no outside financial assistance. We ask each person to contribute $5 per meeting to cover website and other incidental expenses.
At your first meeting, though, you are our guest. If $5 is a financial burden or is the reason for staying away, please contact a Facilitator in person or email a private message to the lead Facilitator (firstname.lastname@example.org). We are here to support, not to inhibit or embarrass.
Meeting leaders are trained to facilitate discussions at support meetings; they are not professional life coaches, marriage counsellors, or psychologists.We talk about our own experience. We do not advise or challenge.
Predatory or intimidating behaviour will not be tolerated. Gay Fathers of Toronto has a Code of Mutual Respect. Ask a Facilitator to browse a copy of it if you want more information about it. Talk to a Facilitator or email us confidentially (email@example.com) about anything that offends or concerns you.