Feel alone? Isolated? Uncertain about the word gay? Newcomers often feel alone, like an outsider, or not certain if the Gay Fathers is the right place for them. Maybe this is your first contact with the 'gay community'. We've all been there. No one needs to remain alone.
That first meeting is a big step. The future may seem uncertain, stressful, scary, even spinning out of control. Yet, that first step may also hold the hope of a revitalized future, of personal growth, of hoped-for love, and of a new-found self-confidence. It may also mean family adjustments.
We won't advise. We will share our experiences, listen to yours, and support you in the path that suits you and your situation. We demand only a mutual respect for the differences and similarities of every man's situation and experience, his personal boundaries and privacy
When Is the Right Time to Tell My Kids?
Some kids have never known their parents as "straight people". Others learned that Daddy had boyfriends at an early age and watched their father go through several relationships. Some men wait until their kids start (or finish) high school, final exams. Some wait until "the kids ask", when a boyfriend becomes a permanent fixture, etc. In short there is no right time or best time to tell your children that you are gay.
Every father worries about the impact of coming out to his kids. If you have come out to your kids, what worked or didn't? What would you do differently. If you are agonizing about this, what's so difficult?
Maybe this topic would be better addressed by asking what are some of the things you should not do?
Don't blurt it out in anger or frustration.
Don't let your kids learn about it from another source.
Don't tell one kid and ask that kid to keep it a secret.
How will your kids react if they are the last to know,
What are other pitfalls to be avoided?
Discussion Facilitator: John J *Second Facilitator: Daniel M
*When two or more facilitators are usually present, the Second Facilitator will be happy to talk privately if you prefer.*
The 519 Church St Community Centre, Room 304
Directions to 519 ►[Opens new window]◄
Gay Fathers of Toronto is operated by and for gay dads. All fathers, step-fathers, their same-sex partners, and all gay/bi men in a fathering role are welcome at a GFT meeting. It is an independent, peer support group that is run and governed by gay fathers. It has no political, corporate, or religious affiliation and receives no outside financial assistance. We ask each person to contribute $5 per meeting to cover website and other incidental expenses.
At your first meeting, though, you are our guest. If $5 is a financial burden or is the reason for staying away, please contact a Facilitator in person or email a private message to the lead Facilitator (email@example.com). We are here to support, not to inhibit or embarrass.
Meeting leaders are trained to facilitate discussions at support meetings; they are not professional life coaches, marriage counsellors, or psychologists.We talk about our own experience. We do not advise or challenge.
Predatory or intimidating behaviour will not be tolerated. Gay Fathers of Toronto has a Code of Mutual Respect. Ask a Facilitator to browse a copy of it if you want more information about it. Talk to a Facilitator or email us confidentially (firstname.lastname@example.org) about anything that offends or concerns you.