Gay Fathers Support Group Meeting
Meeting Place:
Room 304 (usually) - Check Lobby Notice Board (behind front desk) to reconfirm
The 519 Church St. Community Centre, Toronto, ON
Map to The 519 ►[Opens new window]◄
Feeling alone? Uncertain? Isolated? If you feel ambivalent about attending your first meeting, remember we’ve all been there.
That first meeting is a big step. It may hold a promise of a renewed future, a new identity and self-respect. It may also lead to family adjustments and other changes. Personal or family issues may be pressing. The future seems uncertain, stressful, even scary and spinning out of control. We are not here to advise but to listen and support you in the path that suits you.
First time or not, remember that newcomers at Gay Fathers of Toronto meetings often feel alone and like outsiders. Most likely they are unfamiliar with GFT and may be cautious about it and how it works. Get acquainted, but respect each man's boundaries, his issues, and his right to privacy.
No one needs to remain alone.
Meeting Facilitator: Daniel M
Main Topic: Practical gay parenting....
I have kids to consider and parental responsbilities, but I am also a gay man who wants 'to live', to experience 'gay life' (whatever that means to me).
Can these responsibilities and dreams co-exist? How? At what point is it appropriate to introduce a boyfriend to my kids?
Where do my gay life and fathering intersect - or do they?
Must I always sacrifice my personal needs in favour of my kids' needs? What do I mean when I say "My kids come first"?
The kids' mother / my boyfriend disagrees with my priorities or my "lifestyle". What are helpful (and unhelpful) strategies for coping with conflicting values or priorities?
Discussion Facilitator: Daniel M
Newcomer Facilitator: Barry N
General Notes:
Gay Fathers of Toronto is operated by and for gay dads. It receives no financial support and we ask men to pay $5 at each meeting to defray the cost of materials, the website, and other incidental expenses. If this is a financial burden or is a reason for staying away, please contact the Lead Facilitator,
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
. We are here to support, not inhibit or embarrass.
GFT recognizes that to achieve its mission as a support group, the dignity, respect, and safety of every man must be mutual. We have a Code of Mutual Respect to define and maintain a safe and open environment that remains free from harassment or intimidation. Email
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
to report anything that concerns you. It is private and confidential mail.
Topics for future meetings:
Got a topic you for a future meeting? Help GFT focus on topics important to you: Send your suggestions to
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
.
Describe your suggestion a little. Stating "I would like to discuss Homophobia" might mean you would like to discuss "Schoolyard homophobic language" or "Coping with homophobia at work, church..." or "How can 'It Get Better?' or stopping bullies" or "What is internalized homophobia?" A few words can help a lot.
Gay Fathers Support Group Meeting
Meeting Place:
Room 304 (usually) - Check Lobby Notice Board (behind front desk) to reconfirm
The 519 Church St. Community Centre, Toronto, ON
Map to The 519 ►[Opens new window]◄
Feeling alone? Uncertain? Isolated? If this will be your first meeting, remember we’ve all been there.
That first meeting is a big step. It may hold the promise of a renewed future, to a new identity and self-respect. It may also lead to family adjustments or other changes. Personal or family issues may be pressing. The future seems uncertain, stressful, or even scary and spinning out of control. We are not here to advise but to listen and support you in the path that suits you.
First time or not, please remember that newcomers at Gay Fathers of Toronto meetings often feel alone and like outsiders. They are likley unfamiliar with and may be cautious about GFT and how it functions. Get acquainted, but respect each man's boundaries, personal issues, and right to privacy.
No one is alone.
Meeting Facilitator: Andrew T
Main Topic: Coming Out (Part 3): Your Kids - Should you? When? How?
Part 1 (Aug 25) Coming out to oneself. What does coming out mean? Is it a one-time experience or an on-going process?
Part 2 (Oct 13) talked about the issues and approaches to coming out to your adult friends and family members...
Tonight:
Some frequently heard comments made by gay dads:
"My sexual orientation means nothing to my kids - they are very young" - "Coming out to teenagers complicates their own issues about sexuality" - "My wife doesn't want the kids to know"
Are these the kids' issues or the dads'?
There are no rules defining the right time when it is appropriate to talk about your sexual orientation, but there are some things to consider.
Are YOU ready to talk about it? Is the setting and time conducive to 'serious' conversation? Are the kids coping with other stressful or more urgent matters at this time? If you have more than one child, should you talk to them individually or as a group, and what could be the consequences of confiding in one before informing the other(s)?
Be prepared for the unexpected. For example, many fathers start this discussion only to discover that one or more of his kids "already knew".
Discussion Facilitator: Andrew T
Newcomer Facilitator: Jim McK
General Notes:
You are our guest at your first meeting. Gay Fathers of Toronto is operated by and for gay dads. It receives no financial support and we ask men to pay $5 at each meeting to cover costs of materials, the website, and other incidental expenses. If this is a financial burden or is the reason for staying away, please contact the Lead Facilitator (
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
). We are here to support, not to inhibit.
GFT recognizes that to achieve its mission as a support group, the dignity, respect, and safety of every man must be mutual. We have a Code of Mutual Respect to define and maintain a safe and open environment that is free from harassment or intimidation. Email
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
to report anything that concerns you. It is private and confidential mail.
Topics for future meetings:
Have a topic you want to discuss at a future meeting? Send your suggestion(s) to
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
.
It helps if you describe the topic a bit. "I would like to discuss Homophobia" could mean
Dealing with my kids' language... Coping with homophobia at work or at church... Violent homophobic acts or bullying... Defining / understanding internalized homophobia...
You can help GFT focus on topics that are important to you.
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